Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
