the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
