my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
