I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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