She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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