Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
