I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
