Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
