dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Pants are for mortals
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
