I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
