I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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