laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize