Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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