I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
