So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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