you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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