Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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