you guys were way drunker than both of me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I want her autograph on my taint
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
