I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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