i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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