Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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