Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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