Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
