I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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