Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your cock deserves a montage
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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