I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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