i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
