there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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