Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
