so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
