He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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