dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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