whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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