I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
