Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
