I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
