we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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