I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
