a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
