question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had to cum in my sink.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
