If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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