dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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