Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
