covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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