So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
