Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
