There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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