Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
