well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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