just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
